They walk among us........

Have you met them yet? Pay attention, they are everywhere!.............

They walk among us..................... I was at the checkout of a K-Mart. The clerk rang up $46.64 charge. I gave her a fifty dollar bill. She gave me back $46.64. I gave it back to her and told her that she had made a mistake in MY favor and gave her the money back. She became indignant and informed me she was educated and knew what she was doing, and returned the money again. I gave her the money back again...same scenario! I departed the store with the $46.64. ................They Walk Among Us and Many Work Retail. I walked into a Mickey D's with a buy-one-get-one-free coupon for a sandwich. I handed it to the girl and she looked over at a little chalkboard that said "buy one-get one free." "They're already buy-one-get-one-free", she said, "so I guess they're both free" She handed me my free sandwiches and I walked out the door. ................They Walk Among Us and Many Work Retail. One day I was walking down the beach with some friends when one of them shouted, "Look at that dead bird!" Someone looked up at the sky and said, "Where?" ................They Walk Among Us! While looking at a house, my brother asked the real estate agent which direction was north because, he explained, he didn't want the sun waking him up every morning. She asked, "Does the sun rise in the north?" When my brother explained that the sun rises in the east, and has for sometime, she shook her head and said, "Oh I don't keep up with that stuff." ................They Walk Among Us !! I used to work in t echnical support for a 24/7 call center. One day I got a call from an individual who asked what hours the call center was open. I told him, "The number you dialed is open 24 hours a day, 7 days a week." He responded, "Is that Eastern or Pacific time?" Wanting to end the call quickly, I said, "Uh, Pacific." ................They Walk Among Us! My sister has a lifesaving tool in her car designed to cut through a seat belt if she gets trapped. She keeps it in the trunk. ................They Walk Among Us! My friends and I were on a beer run and noticed that the cases were discounted 10%. Since it was a big party, we bought 2 cases. The cashier multiplied 2 times 10% and gave us a 20% discount. ................They Walk Among Us! I couldn't find my luggage at the airport baggage area, so I went to the lost luggage office and told the woman there that my bags never showed up. She smiled and told me not to worry because she was a trained professional and I was in good hands. "Now," she asked me, has your plane arrived yet?" ................They Walk Among Us! While working at a pizza parlor I observed a man ordering a small pizza to go. He appeared to be alone and the cook asked him if he would like it cut into 4 pieces or 6. He thought about it for some time before resp onding. "Just cut it into 4 pieces; I don't think I'm hungry enough to eat 6 pieces." ................Yep, They Walk Among Us! They Walk Among Us, AND they reproduce, and WORST OFALL..........THEY VOTE !!!! M.Silva - Boston, MA 06-19-07

Eric the Painter - Alternative to BLAND URBAN LANDSCAPES

Need a good painter?

Before photo - typical concrete & stucco facade Preparing the canvas - by plastering the wall surface The wall starts to take on a 3-dimensional appearance Eric in his element, 30' off the ground. He does most of the artwork by himself & researches, paints and designs each project from scratch.

Eric's wife Kathy, also an artist, serves as project manager.

Here are some more examples of Eric's projects...

****************** Finished products ****************

Great American Crossroad - Bucyrus, Ohio - Before... After Liberty Remembers ? ?

Before ...After - hard to believe you're looking at a flat 2-dimensional wall How to dress up a drab Shopping Mall - Niagara , NY After.

(I wonder how many birds fly into this wall on a daily basis??)

Indoor Murals - Miller Brewery

Hallway Before - Miller Fermenting Rooms

You're looking at flat walls! Detail view looking down the illusional hallway in the previous mural.

Past meets Present in the Miller Brewery Fermenting Rooms - hooks, clipboards and aprons were added to the surface of the murals to enhance the illusion? ?

Julian Beever - Sidewalk Illusionist

Sewer / Spiderman to the rescue / Batman and Robin to the rescue

You can still see the blocks of concrete.

More chalk drawings from Julian Beever. Scroll down slowly and stop at each new frame. Incredible!!!!! Julian Beever is an English artist who's famous for his art on the pavement of England, France, Germany, USA, Australia and Belgium. Beever gives to his drawings an amazing 3D illusion.

Don't miss seeing Julian Beever on the Top of the Bottle

Look Closely, see the Bricks through the Chalk on the Laptop Screen

Do you notice everything is fake. even the hose and water? There is no hole in this pavement.

Girl in Swimming Pool (Remember, both his feet in reality are flat on the pavement)

Girl in Swimming Pool seen in Reverse from Opposite Side of Drawing

Politicians Meeting Their End .................................................

This drawing of a Rescue was to be viewed using an inverting mirror

Girl on a beach mat.

Make Poverty History drawing from the side (40 ft long)Make Poverty

Baby Food in Reverse seen from the opposite side of the drawing

KOSHER COMPUTERS - Eliminate SPAM

I don't know if you know this, but you can now purchase Kosher computers!

They are made in Israel by a company called DELL-SHALOM. The price is so low, even with the shipping from Israel! However, before you purchase a kosher computer of your own, you should know that there are some important changes from the typical non-kosher computer you are used to, such as:

1) The "Start" button has been replaced with a "Let's go!! I'm not getting any younger!" button.

2) You hear "Hava Nagila" during startup.

3) The cursor moves from right to left.

4) When Spell-checker finds an error it prompts, "Is this the best you can do?"

5) When you look at erotic images, your computer says, "If your mother knew you did this, she would die."

6) It comes with a "monitor cleaning solution" from Manischewitz that advertises it gets rid of all the "schmutz und drek."

7) When running "Scan Disk" it prompts you with a "You want I should fix this???" message.

8) After 20 minutes of no activity, your PC goes "Schloffen."

9) The PC shuts down automatically at sundown on Friday evenings.

10) It comes with two hard drives - one for fleyshedik (business software) and one for milchedik (games).

11) Instead of getting a "General Protection Fault" error, your PC now gets "Ferklempt."

12) The multimedia player has been renamed to "Nu, so play my music already!" corner.

14) When your PC is working too hard, you occasionally hear a loud "Oy Gevalt!"

15) Computer viruses can now be cured with matzo ball soup.

16) When disconnecting external devices from the back of my PC, you are instructed to "Remove the cable from the PC's tuchus."

17) After your computer dies, you have to dispose of it within 24 hours.

18) But best of all, if you have a kosher computer, you can't get SPAM!

George Carlin's New Rules For 2007

After stoping into a post New years brunch I bumped into Mr. George Carlin and he seemed very jolly. So I asked him if he had made some new years resolutions. He replied, "Kiddo if you can do anything this year with all your crazy ideas, try to solve some of these issues or at least talk to people about them so a percentage of them realize they are morrons!"

He continujed to explain that if I did just that , not only would he had met his resolution to make the world a better place but he would have a diciple as well.

So he gave me the list of RULES for 2007 that I hould consider and here are the one I can remember. HAPPY NEW YEAR 2007!

New Rule about REUNIONS: Stop giving me that pop-up ad for classmates.com! There's a reason you don't talk to people for 25 years. Because you don't particularly like them! Besides, I already know what the captain of the football team is doing these days: mowing my lawn.


New Rule about FAST FOOD: Don't eat anything that's served to you out a window unless you're a seagull. People are acting all shocked that a human finger was found in a bowl of Wendy's chili. Hey, it cost less than a dollar. What did you expect it to contain? Trout?


New Rule about TEACHER MOLESTATION: Stop saying that teenage boys who have sex with their hot, blonde teachers are permanently damaged. I have a better description for these kids: lucky bastards.
New Rule: If you need to shave and you still collect baseball cards, you're a retard. When you're a kid, the cards are keepsakes of your idols. When you're a grown man, they're pictures of men.


New Rule about STYLISH EYEBROWS: Ladies, leave your eyebrows alone. Here's how much men care about your eyebrows: do you have two of them? Okay, we're done.


New Rule about FLAVORED WATER: There's no such thing as flavored water. There's a whole aisle of this crap at the supermarket, water, but without that watery taste. Sorry, but flavored water is called a soft drink. You want flavored water? Pour some scotch over ice and let it melt. That's your flavored water.


New Rule about IMPROVED PILL CONTAINERS: Stop f***ing with old people. Target is introducing a redesigned pill bottle that's square, with a bigger label. And the top is now the bottom. And by the time grandpa figures out how to open it, his ass will be in the morgue. Congratulations, Target, you just solved the Social Security crisis.


New Rule about CUSTOM COFFEE: The more complicated the Starbucks order, the bigger the asshole. If you walk into a Starbucks and order a "decaf Grande half-soy, half-low fat, iced vanilla, double-shot, gingerbread cappuccino, extra dry, light ice, with one Sweet-n'-Low and one NutraSweet," Oooh, you're a huge asshole.


New Rule about DEBIT MACHINES: I'm not the cashier! By the time I look up from sliding my card, selecting 'Debit,' entering my PIN, pressing 'Enter,' verifying the amount, deciding, no, I don't want cash back, and pressing 'Enter' again, the kid who's supposed to be ringing me up is standing there eating my Almond Joy.


New Rule about WOMEN w/ CHINESE TATOOS: Girls, just because your tattoo has Chinese characters in it doesn't make you spiritual. It's right above the crack of your ass, and it translates to "beef with broccoli." The last time you did anything spiritual, you were praying to God you weren't pregnant. You're not spiritual. You're just high.


New Rule about COMPETITIVE EATING as a SPORT: Competitive eating isn't a sport. It's one of the seven deadly sins. ESPN recently televised the US Open of Competitive Eating, because watching those athletes at the poker table was just too damned exciting. What's next, competitive farting? Oh wait. They're already doing that. It's called "The Howard Stern Show."


New Rules about IMPROVED M&M's: I don't need a bigger mega M&M. If I'm extra hungry for M&Ms, I'll go nuts and eat two.


New Rule about MAKING MOVIES FROM TV SHOWS: If you're going to insist on making movies based on crappy old television shows, then you have to give everyone in the Cineplex a remote so we can see what's playing on the other screens. Let's remember the reason something was a television show in the first place is that the idea wasn't good enough to be a movie.


New Rule about GIFT REGISTRIES: No more gift registries. It used to be just for weddings. Now it's for babies and new homes and graduations from rehab. Picking out the stuff you want and having other people buy it for you isn't gift giving, it's the white people version of looting.