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(. (. . .`.ShOwIn' LoVe!!!!
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Tuesday, April 18, 2006
Friday, April 14, 2006
Friendship Oath
Are you tired of all those sissy "friendship" poems that always sound good, but never actually come close to reality?
Well, here is a series of promises that really speaks to true friendship:?
When you are sad - I will help you get drunk and plot revenge gainst the sorry bastard who made you sad.
Wen you are blue - I will try to dislodge whatever is choking ou.
When you smile - I will know you finally got some.
When you are scared - I will rag on you about it every chance I et.
When you are worried - I will tell you horrible stories about ow much worse it could be and to quit whining.
When you are confused - I will use little words.
When you are sick - Stay the hell away from me until you are ell again. I don't want whatever you have.
When you fall - I will point and laugh at your clumsy ass.
Ths is my oath...I pledge it till the end.
Why? : You may ask, because you are my friend.
Remember: A good friend will help you move.
A really good friend will help you move a body.
Let me know if I ever need to bring a shovel. - SG
Well, here is a series of promises that really speaks to true friendship:?
When you are sad - I will help you get drunk and plot revenge gainst the sorry bastard who made you sad.
Wen you are blue - I will try to dislodge whatever is choking ou.
When you smile - I will know you finally got some.
When you are scared - I will rag on you about it every chance I et.
When you are worried - I will tell you horrible stories about ow much worse it could be and to quit whining.
When you are confused - I will use little words.
When you are sick - Stay the hell away from me until you are ell again. I don't want whatever you have.
When you fall - I will point and laugh at your clumsy ass.
Ths is my oath...I pledge it till the end.
Why? : You may ask, because you are my friend.
Remember: A good friend will help you move.
A really good friend will help you move a body.
Let me know if I ever need to bring a shovel. - SG
Monday, April 03, 2006
Marriage
Marriage - (Part I)
Typical macho man married typical good-looking lady and after the wedding, he laid down the following rules: "I'll be home when I want, if I want and at what time I want and I don't expect any hassle from you. I expect a great dinner to be on the table unless I tell you that I won't be home for dinner. I'll go hunting, fishing, boozing and card-playing when I want with my old buddies and don't you give me a hard time about it. Those are my rules. Any comments?" His new bride said, "No, that's fine with me. Just understand that there>>> will be sex here at seven o'clock every night ......... whether you're here or not."
************************************
Marriage (Part II)>
Husband and wife had a bitter quarrel on the day of their 40th wedding anniversary! The husband yells, "When you die, I'm getting you a headstone that reads: "Here Lies My Wife - Cold As Ever" "Yeah?" she replies. "When you die, I'm getting you a headstone that reads: "Here Lies My Husband -Stiff At Last"
******************************
Marriage (Part III)
Husband (a doctor) and his wife are having a fight at the breakfast table. Husband gets up in a rage and says, "And you are no good in bed either," and storms out of the house. After sometime, he realizes he was nasty and decides to make amends and rings her up. She comes to the phone after many rings, and the irritated husband says, "What took you so long to answer the phone?" She says, "I was in bed." "In bed this early, doing what?" "Getting a second opinion!"
******************************************
Marriage (Part IV)
A man has six children and is very proud of his achievement. He is so proud of himself, that he starts calling his wife, "Mother of Six" in spite of her objections. One night, they go to a party. The man decides that it's time to go home and wants to find out if his wife is ready to leave as well. He shouts at the top of his voice, "Shall we go home 'Mother of Six?' His wife, irritated by her husband's lack of discretion, shouts right back, "Anytime you're ready, Father of Four."
*************************************
Marriage (Part V)
The Silent Treatment : A man and his wife were having some problems at home and were giving each other the silent treatment. Suddenly, the man realized that the next day, he would need his wife to wake him at 5:00 AM for an early morning business flight. Not wanting to be the first to break the silence (and LOSE), he wrote on a piece of paper, "Please wake me at 5:00 AM." He left it where he knew she would find it. The next morning, the man woke up, only to discover it was 9:00 AM and he had missed his flight. Furious, he was about to go and see why his wife hadn't wakened him, when he noticed a piece of paper by the bed. The paper said, "It is 5:00 AM. Wake up." Men are not equipped for these kinds of contests. God may have created man before woman, but there is always a rough draft before the masterpiece.
Typical macho man married typical good-looking lady and after the wedding, he laid down the following rules: "I'll be home when I want, if I want and at what time I want and I don't expect any hassle from you. I expect a great dinner to be on the table unless I tell you that I won't be home for dinner. I'll go hunting, fishing, boozing and card-playing when I want with my old buddies and don't you give me a hard time about it. Those are my rules. Any comments?" His new bride said, "No, that's fine with me. Just understand that there>>> will be sex here at seven o'clock every night ......... whether you're here or not."
************************************
Marriage (Part II)>
Husband and wife had a bitter quarrel on the day of their 40th wedding anniversary! The husband yells, "When you die, I'm getting you a headstone that reads: "Here Lies My Wife - Cold As Ever" "Yeah?" she replies. "When you die, I'm getting you a headstone that reads: "Here Lies My Husband -Stiff At Last"
******************************
Marriage (Part III)
Husband (a doctor) and his wife are having a fight at the breakfast table. Husband gets up in a rage and says, "And you are no good in bed either," and storms out of the house. After sometime, he realizes he was nasty and decides to make amends and rings her up. She comes to the phone after many rings, and the irritated husband says, "What took you so long to answer the phone?" She says, "I was in bed." "In bed this early, doing what?" "Getting a second opinion!"
******************************************
Marriage (Part IV)
A man has six children and is very proud of his achievement. He is so proud of himself, that he starts calling his wife, "Mother of Six" in spite of her objections. One night, they go to a party. The man decides that it's time to go home and wants to find out if his wife is ready to leave as well. He shouts at the top of his voice, "Shall we go home 'Mother of Six?' His wife, irritated by her husband's lack of discretion, shouts right back, "Anytime you're ready, Father of Four."
*************************************
Marriage (Part V)
The Silent Treatment : A man and his wife were having some problems at home and were giving each other the silent treatment. Suddenly, the man realized that the next day, he would need his wife to wake him at 5:00 AM for an early morning business flight. Not wanting to be the first to break the silence (and LOSE), he wrote on a piece of paper, "Please wake me at 5:00 AM." He left it where he knew she would find it. The next morning, the man woke up, only to discover it was 9:00 AM and he had missed his flight. Furious, he was about to go and see why his wife hadn't wakened him, when he noticed a piece of paper by the bed. The paper said, "It is 5:00 AM. Wake up." Men are not equipped for these kinds of contests. God may have created man before woman, but there is always a rough draft before the masterpiece.
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